Giving and Receiving Feedback Graciously with "I want A RANT" tool was inspired by my time working at Embodied Love festival with Bear Philips. Bear's sub stack details their 'A RANT' tool and I've built upon that to help people in festivals, or in life, to give and receive feedback well. This is a vital skill in playing and working together harmoniously. We have to be able to have ruptures if we are to live authentically and therefore we need the ability to repair them by giving and receiving feedback graciously. 

I want A RANT: Intention, Request, Acknowledge, Needed (for repair), Time (to heal)

• I want: INTENTION: Have the intention to rebuild trust with that person. We are all ultimately looking to be heard and understood so that we know we are seen, safe and secure.

So what we want to do, to help that intention come to fruition, is: 

• A: ASK: Ask for consent to offer feedback “Do you have a moment now / later to talk about something that came up for me, please?”
• R: RECEIVE, REFLECT, RECOGNISE: 
  • Receive the gift of feedback with “Thank You” This honours the vulnerable process of giving feedback and prevents us from going into a defensiveness. Take a pause. Honour the other. (The full version is “Thank you for caring enough to give me honest feedback about how it felt for you. I’ll carefully consider what you’ve said.”) Then 
  • Reflect back what you heard… “I hear that when I… you felt….” 
  • Recognize the impact as fully as you can.  “I can see how it caused…”
• A: ACKNOWLEDGE:
  Whether the rupture was unintended or not, it’s really important to acknowledge that our behaviour had an impact. Defensiveness will only make things worse. Without this acknowledgement any future apology can feel empty and hollow.
• N: NEEDED (for repair): Ask for what is needed or offer something to repair the rupture.
• Examples are:
  - reassurance that I’ll be more careful,
  - apology,
  - hugs,
  - another check in later.
• T: THANK and TAKETIME OUT (to heal)  Allow for time to pass before expecting it all to calm down.

​
This is how it often works: 

1, Partner A needs to have a rant so they ask for a set amount of time
2. Timer starts, B listens, no interruption
3. Partner A rants for the time, allowing themselves to be raw, unfiltered
4. Partner B acknowledges what they heard and appreciates them for the courage it took to share
5. Partner B asks what they need to repair this 
6. Partner A states it
7. A and B thank one another and take some time out to think it through. 
8. After time they come back together, restating the intention and they can calmly address the points, apologogise and work out a plan to meet the needs of all involved. Sometimes it might take a few goes and switching back and forth. One rant can inspire another. 

Key element: We must try and hear one another with emotional attunement. The injured person will likely be amplifying, exagerating, projecting and going into stories. This is OK, even if its hard to hear. We don't need to agree with them, but hear them and witness them. Acknowledge the pain underneath - the emotions. Then apologise for that. We do not have to buy into somone elses narrative to do this. 

This is the deep work of ruture and repair. If you'd like ot learn more come along to one of my courses or work with me 1:1

Neil Morbey 2026

Kirtan Kriya (which is pronounced KEER-tun KREE-a) is a type of meditation from the Kundalini yoga tradition that my partner has been exploring and so I thought I'd write a blog about it. 

It's a singing exercise, as it involves singing the sounds: "Saa Taa Naa Maa" along with repetitive finger movements, or mudras. It is non-religious and can be adapted to several lengths, but practicing it for just 12 minutes a day has been shown to reduce stress levels and increase activity in areas of the brain that are central to memory.

What does it all mean?
In Sanskrit, a kirtan is a song, and kriya refers to a specific set of movements. In the Eastern tradition, kriyas are used to help bring the body, mind and emotions into balance to enable healing. The mantra that is repeated while practicing Kirtan Kriya is designed to be uplifting. The sounds come from the mantra ‘Sat Nam’, which means “my true essence’. 
From an Eastern perspective it is believed that the placement of the tongue on the roof of the mouth while making these sounds stimulates 84 acupuncture points on the upper palate., which may cause a bio-chemical transformation in the brain.

I haven't yet found clinical research, but I've heard that utilizing the fingertip position in conjunction with the sounds enhances blood flow to particular areas in the motor-sensory part of the brain and that practicing Kirtan Kriya for just 12 minutes a day can improve cognition and activate parts of the brain that are central to memory. Can we replace the Kirtan Kriya sounds with other sounds or tasks? Who knows - but it's all about the meaning we imbue to the words, so if you have no meaning - ro 'emotional content' it is likely it won't be as effective.

How do you practice Kirtan Kriya?    

1. Repeat the Saa Taa Naa Maa sounds (or mantra) while sitting with your spine straight.
2. Your focus of concentration is imagining the sound flowing in through the top of your head and out the middle of your forehead (your third eye point) whilst changing between four finger positions:
   1. Saa: Index and thumb connected
   2. Taa: Middle finger and thumb connected
   3. Naa: Ring finger and thumb connected
   4. Maa: Pinky and thumb connected
3. For two minutes, sing in your normal voice.
4. For the next two minutes, sing in a whisper.
5. For the next four minutes, imagine saying the sound silently to yourself.
6. Then reverse the order, whispering for two minutes, and then out loud for two minutes, for a total of twelve minutes.
7. To end, inhale very deeply, stretch your hands above your head, and then bring them down slowly in a sweeping motion as you exhale.

Below is a YouTube video of the practice - enjoy.