Embracing Complexity In Today's World

In My Group Workshops We Embrace Our Unique Complexities

When was the last time you fully embraced something you couldn't fully understand? Our instinct is to simplify, to reduce, to make manageable—but what might we discover if we open ourselves to complexity instead?

Touch&Play
I help run a festival each year: Touch&Play. This year's theme was inspired by observing the group dynamics and group play of last year’s events. Jamus, Daniel and I contemplated How can we embrace the complexity inherent in group interactions—whether through play, dance, or touch?

Intention Drives Growth 
As with last year the theme can take a life of its own. In my own mind it has taken root, with some discomfort, I might add. I deliberately limit my exposure to world news partly because I see it as propaganda of cherry picked, biased, bad news which seems to make my suggestible mind lose faith in human nature. But the other reason is that the world is just so bloody complex. I found this quote: 

"Our society is complex, and we teach our students that they could just fix it. It's like: ‘go fix a military helicopter, and see how far you get with that’. You’re like a chimp with a wrench: Whack! “Oh look! It’s better!” It’s like: No! it’s not better…Things are complicated and to fix things is really hard! And you have to be like a golden tool to fix things. And you’re not! So… how do you overcome the suffering of life? Be a better person!... Well, that’s hard! It takes responsibility! I you said to someone: Do you want to have a meaningful life? Then… everything you do matters! Everything!" (Unknown) 

Overwhelm At The Problems In The World
I sometimes feel overwhelmed with life. I sometimes wake imagining what it would be like to have the power... to solve all the problems, to heal all the broken people, greedy dictators, psychopaths, gang members, human traffickers, rapists, bad parents, corrupt politicians… but then you realise the list goes on and on and on. And it includes me. I’m so utterly imperfect, greedy, selfish and like everyone else I might have good intentions but I don’t have the capacity to fully wrap my head around the complexity of all the issues. 

Ethics
Even if I extract one societal issue, like say ‘the ethics and practices of consent’ (which is something I teach on). Well it quickly becomes so vastly complex with grey areas that require consideration of nuance and context that I cannot make hard and fast rules completely. This is why Touch&Play have gone through many iterations of consent models, including enthusiastic consent, ‘messy’ consent, sovereign choice, trauma informed consent… The problem is ongoing and complex. And that is one problem in a pile of billions, each of them subtly interconnected. 

So how then do I embrace complexity and live well, without becoming overwhelmed? 
I’ve been reading ‘Humankind: A Hopeful History’ by R Bregman and what I love about it is that it cuts through the propaganda we are drip fed daily - that human beings are selfish and greedy. Instead it looks at the accurate data throughout history to see a brighter perspective; we are mostly good and descent. When crisis happens we come together and help one another. Sure, we have rotten apples, traumatised people, challenges and problems, but if you dig in to the human heart you find a core of care and compassion. People want to do good. Yes the ideology of what ‘good’ means may be different from person to person, and in different ideological groups, but if we can hold faith that the human being primarily wants to do good we can come back to life, as it really is. 

Careful With What You Input
So many movies, news stories, TV shows and literature portray humans as the opposite. Like we are fundamentally bad and we have a thin veneer of society on top, keeping us in line. Movies like Batman - where the Joker is described: “some men just want to see the world burn”. The scary thing to me is that narratives like this create and fuel ideologies. They make us believe it’s true! Then we act on those beliefs! The book cites example after example where humans were being good, but then the news reports incited violence, because people ‘thought’ that other people were being bad. It’s so simple it boils my blood with anger. 

Connection With Our Own Depths
So one thing that I feel we need in this post truth age, more than anything is the ability to discern BS, lies, fake media, propaganda for what it is - clickbait, attention seeking nonsense. To do this incredibly difficult thing we need a stronger connection to reality as it really is. How do we do that? Connect with people. Connect with ourselves. Practice mindfulness - the art of being a curious observer of thoughts, feelings, sensations and of the world around us. Stop watching the news and instead sit down and think, research, talk to real people who have really been there. A variety of people. And finally to stop thinking we can solve all the world’s problems and kidding ourselves that we even understand them and instead focus on one or two problems at a time - mostly within our own locality. 

Slow Down, Ground. Come Down To The Bedrock Of Reality
We need to build ourselves up from a bedrock of reality. From this place right here and right now. A bit like Zorro Circles - the idea that you need to master your small circles first and then expand out from there. Embracing complexity means slowing down, zooming in and coming to things mindfully and compassionately. Acknowledge our ignorance and learn to discern truth through this process. For me, this is relaxing and calming. I relax the feelings of overwhelm and remember that I can’t solve, or even understand all the world’s problems and instead I come into connection with the people around me. I become curious about how they feel and what they need. Through this is enough complexity to fill a lifetime.

The Ripple Effect
What if our greatest challenge isn't solving complexity, but learning to dance with it? The most vibrant ecosystems, the most resilient communities, and the most profound connections all thrive not despite complexity, but because of it. My experience is that if I embrace the complexities first in myself, then in the local group around me, then things ripple out from there. I don't have to fix all of the world, but just connect and create, right where I am. 

If you'd like to come and explore this concept come to Touch&Play, or any of the Group works that I do. I do this work because I want to share and enjoy the complexity of myself and others, together, ​