As I work with clients I heartily encourage them to love themselves through caring for this incredible organism that they are. We are a body. You can enjoy the idea and feeling of being a spirit too, if you like, but what we know for sure is that this body is the thing that allows us to have a life, here and now, on this Earth. Unfortunately people (including me) sometimes feel that it is a drag 'having' to care for the body. It has all these constant 'needs' and gives us 'pain'. Yeesh! 

MINDSET
This mindset is understandable. We are all busy and important people and we lose sight of the truth of life. We get caught up in 'doing' so much that everything we 'do' becomes a means to an end - an obstacle to achieving our goals! 

GOALS!
This goal orientated way of being is great for getting shit done. The unfortunate side effect is that life things become chore-some, instead of awe-some. That sucks. Again, I find myself in this state sometimes - overly focused on the goals and neglecting my beautiful body. 

THE BODY FEELS FOR A REASON
When we remember that the body feels so good with self care we love to look after it. Stretching, exercise, eating well - all these things feel very easy.

When we also remember the Polyvagal theory we can really care for our body in a way that helps our underlying state. We have three states of reacting to the world - Parasympathetic (rest and disgust), Sympathetic (Threat activation or Fight/flight/Fawn) and Dorsal Vagal (overwhelm/ shut down - Freeze, Flop,) . With the awareness that these require responding with different ways of breathing, posture, movement, voice - upregulating  or downregulating and that these are skills and disciplines that take time and practice - this can be seen as a chore or a fantastic insight. The first thing I do is raise my awareness with a code word - a traffic light. If I realise I'm 'activated' I say 'amber' to myself and take a moment to slow down and regulate my nervous system.  When I say 'red' it's because I realise I'm feeling despondent and shut down, so I first do some activation movement and breath and then calm down to a 'Green' state. 

CHORE-SOME OR AWE-SOME
The chore-some mindset says "Oh jeez! I'm so broken, it's so much work, it's endless!" We all fall into this sometimes. 
The awe-some mindset says "Wow! I'm so adaptable, my body works so well, it's always growing and changing!"  This is the one I like to remember and practise. 

So I invite you today to meet your body with love and enjoy the incredible wisdom that is holds and communicates via feelings. If you need help with this let me know and come work with me 1-1 or in a group. 

Big love, 
Neil

PS. here is a video of Peter Levine loving his work of trauma healing

 We need to rest. But what about “active rest”? It seems like an oxymoron, but what exactly is it and how can it help?

Self care and rest come under the same bracket, and it’s widely accepted that we need these things. The world is full of noise and chaos and it’s simply exhausting, physically, mentally, and emotionally. So we need a break. Is there a way we can take a more active role in this? This is what today's blog looks at. 

Media Addiction
'Doom Scrolling 'and 'Mindless Surfing' is not happening at epidemic levels, partly because we have been indoctrinated into media addiction since were were children, before our brain had even fully developed. This means we never rest. We fill every moment with media, often via screens or head phones - information about millions of subjects that we have no control over and largely just create 'mind pollution'. I've written before about how your attention is the product being exploited and seeing the real enemy is media influencers.

Unhelpful rest
A few years ago, the classic thing to do when you come in from work is to sit in front of the television and channel surf for a while. The modern equivalent of this is probably doom scrolling, which is where you stare at a phone and simply scroll through social media and binge on bad news.

If that sounds familiar to you, don’t worry. It’s a common habit and doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. But it’s not exactly a healthy habit. People engage in these behaviours due to a combination of boredom and tiredness. You simply can’t be bothered to think of something to do, so choose something easy and mindless. But while it’s easy to do, this isn’t actually restful.

For starters, you rarely feel satisfied after spending a few minutes or even hours doom scrolling or channel surfing. Instead, you might feel restless or even frustrated. Often people spend time staring at their phones instead of sleeping and, let’s be honest, are you actually enjoying it? 

Admit you are unwell
The problem with mental illness is that we often feel ashamed of it because its not as tangible as physical sickness. If you had a broken leg you're more likely to self care without shame. With mental illness, which addiction is part of, we shame ourselves, get stressed and then need even more rest. Perhaps the most important part of rest - GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION

How do I give myself permission?
This is the 'active' part of rest. Working with the mind. Recognising the inner resistance and shame. Talking to those parts of yourself. This is where I can help with 1:1 work where I can teach you how to see things more rationally and start to respect yourself in your inner dialogue. ​

Different people need different types of rest at different times. 
The interesting thing is that, when it’s deliberate, your rest is rarely harmful. You can watch crap, you can do nothing. Do you enjoy watching TV or playing video games? Great. When we allow ourselves to do it we also naturally put BOUNDARIES on it.  We set an end time and then I often use the 54321 method to get up and do something else. Perhaps you want to  know where to watch F1 in Australia or something else - no problem. So long as you do it with full permission and actually allow yourself to enjoy this restful time, then when you're finished you'll feel refreshed and satisfied and you'll have renewed energy to do something else.  

I hope this message encourages you to give yourself a break, work with your mind so you can actively rest, when you need it. 

Big Love
Neil