I've been enjoying the music of Akira The Don, who makes beats to accompany soundbites from inspiring speakers. In this tune he takes a speech from Jocko Willink - an ex Navy-Seal - to inspire us to use the enemy image to get up early. I paraphrase quips from Jocko here:

• "I like to have that psychological win over the enemy. When I wake up in the morning... I'm thinking about the enemy and what they're doing. "
• "I imagine there's a guy rocking back and forth, with a machine gun in one hand and a grenade in the other, and he's waiting - for me! We're going to meet!"
• "I'm thinking to myself what can I do to be ready for that moment? Which is coming"
• "Successful is someone who brings light into that darkness"
• "I will use the word 'Fearless' not because they didn't have fear, but that  they overcame it, all the time." (This is from the song  'This Is It')
• 'To live and fight and die like a warrior - to overcome fear - that to me is success. Regardless of the outcome.'

We mostly use the enemy image unconsciously. We make enemies of our friends, other people and even ourselves. We don't realise we do this and we also don't realise the negative effects it has on our mood, body and relationships. Two examples come to mind: 

• Some Left Liberals imagine bitter, short sighted Tories, hoarding money and shitting on the environment. The worry that the world is being dragged into fascist and environmentally destructive dystopia leads them to become more and more radical in their rebellious approach. 
• Some Right Conservatives imagine lazy, workshy hippies, draining the national purse illegally. This leads them to despise people who are in poverty and become judgemental and bitter and try to make stricter and harsher rules. 

These examples of 'othering' can also be done consciously - We can make up a story to help us and thus avoid the negative side effects of confusing imagination with reality. Here is how I do it:

I imagine two main enemies in this modern battle:. I understand these are characters and not 'real' people (who are more complex). The following  images help motivate me to thwart the attention wandering.  

I teach this and I still forget at times - such is the power of the modern trance.
Whenever we create an enemy image it is usually a representation of a part of ourselves that we repress, but very much lives inside.  When I consider my enemies - yes there are people in the world like that but the real enemy is my own pattern of distraction and then blaming, whilst ignoring my own body and mind. The real enemy is within.

So what can I do?
I take the advice of Ghandi and Jocko (can you imagine these two combined!? What a team!)
Be the change I want to see and Prepare for battle with the enemy. Just  like in this video ​we must recognise the inner parts if we are to tame them. This means discipline and boundaries.

What this means in practice: 

• Practice Discipline and Boundaries: Starting my day well, off the smartphone and using techniques (which I teach and coach) to liberate myself from online and offline distractions that only serve the corporate Zuckerberg's of the world. 
• Practice Gratitude and Empathy: I use mindfulness to create more love and less hate in myself and in my relationships. I step back from online debates (including text messages) and have real conversations and real relationships. 

For me this means I have a morning routine of getting up early, meditating, journaling, working out and then a daily practice of using Pomodoro's to stay focused and gradually changing my online habits. I keep the enemies in my mind to remind me of the parts within. 

If you'd like to learn some of these techniques and develop a healthy relationship with yourself and others please get in touch and do some coaching with me. 

WINDOW OF TOLERANCE
A better way of considering it is to think of the green zone in the middle as a window of tolerance that you want to keep returning to and expanding through deliberate practice of dipping into the stretch zones either side. This is a nicer way of describing the Comfort Zone, Stretch Zones and Panic Zone. 

AIM: FLEXIBILITY AND RESILIENCE
We are ultimately aiming for psychological and bodily flexibility. To be able to move between states, so we can be resilient to them when they come up. We cannot just stop them from appearing. They call it the autonomic nervous system for a reason. To become more flexible and resilient we can think of it like a muscle. 

NEUORCEPTION - MINDFULLY BECOME AWARE OF YOUR CURRENT STATE
But first you have to be AWARE of what state you are in. This is actually quite simple - tune in (mindfully) to the body and notice if you are activated into panicked action or frozen in immobile confusion and numbness. To do this however takes some skill. When we practice mindfulness we develop our nueroception -our ability to be aware and even name and describe our internal state.

OK so you've discovered you're stuck in indecision and confusion, immobile and static. What next?  I can numb out so often when I'm overwhelmed and so basically I've learned that in this state we need to MOVE and embrace some discomfort. Here are some ways to help you. I have put *** next to the ones I use.

1. Singing*** I love this one as it helps me feel good and is great breathing practice
2. Cold water to the face***! This is something I use a lot and can be combined well with...
3. Brushing teeth and flossing - refreshing and you’re using bilateral stimulation and dropping the jaw - this is a very primal way of reducing stress.
4. Cold shower/swim  - Pain is your friend here - Declare it "I love this!" Or if no access to the bathroom...
5. Just do some fast and deep breathing (Wim Hoff) otherwise known as Fire Breath
6. Admit what's up*** and use challenging, motivational words "Let's Go! Bring it on! Yeah! Fuck this!"  See my FLOW tool... I use this a lot! 
7. Stand up, Shake it out, with sound - Stretch and make sound, like an animal, or even better
8. Dance to music***, with sound
9. Go for a fast walk or jog***, in the fresh air - make it have a determined energy
10. Climb a tree***. do some press ups, pound your chest
11. Tense the whole body and relax (Progressive Muscle Relaxation)
12. Watch some fun, irreverent comedy *** (the danger for me is that this one can lead to procrastination an YouTube addiction!)
13. Rage to heavy music - scream swear words into a cushion or shout in the car
14. Have a vigorous workout*** - with sound - punch the fists
15. Do some intense or dynamic yoga*** (Vinyasa/Ashtanga)
16. Lie Down and move head from side to side: Recalibration exercise using neck/eyes
17. Bilateral Stimulation With Eyes - EMDR - Follow your finger with your eyes all around, left right, rolling around, then back and forth, ending with your eyes up. Studies on Trauma patients show that this side-to-side movement neutralizes the initial traumatic event, gets it unstuck, and can create immediate relief from PTSD. I personally think its more appropriate in a therapeutic 1:1 setting. 

Don't: 

• Believe the inner critics judgements or helpless predictions - question them/alow them
• Get lost in distracting phone/ media - throw the phone away
• Sit and stare blankly at walls/ceiling - move, music, shake, now!
• Stay stuck indoors/in bed/on seat - go out!
• Browse the internet becoming lost in rabbit holes - get off it!

Once activated you may wish to crack on with work - great. Ideally we want to bring moderation to our action, not just use work to become another distraction from dealing with our internal state of stress. For people who are manic or workaholics this is particularly important (I can be like this). It is best to induce a state of calm learning so we can have an open mind as we move through our day. Calming things might include (*** = I use them):

1. Humming! ***I love it! Slows things down and is peaceful. 
2. Deep slow belly breaths***, Slow, controlled out breaths, with gaps
3. Admit what your mind is thinking and say '...and that's ok... fuck it... no worries' (Journaling is good for this) Again this is FLOW
4. Self Tapping (EFT Technique) with self loving words -  Tapping on acupressure points in the body to stimulate those positive brain wave frequencies (delta waves) and activating serotonin and dopamine. 
5. Meditation or napping - use comforting, positive words "It's OK, I'm OK. Ahhhh...."
6. Go for a SLOW, mindful walk - Stop, Look around, Observe something, Walk On. 
7. Gentle stretch (Yin Yoga / Yoga Nedra / Alexander Technique)
8. Read a book, to chilled music 
9. Bath, candles, self massage/pamper
10. Watch a feel good movie, or one that matches mood (not action)
11. Havening: basically hugging and rubbing yourself  - There are nerve endings right under the surface of your skin cells on the upper body. When you apply pressure there, it creates delta waves in the brain (the same brain waves during deep REM sleep) and it slows the beta wave pattern down. That’s why hugs are so important! Give yourself one, or give someone else a hug who needs it as well.

Don't: 

• Get lost in 101 tasks - focus on one at a time
• Allow business to overtake you and stop you caring for your body and relationships - find balance
• Allow confusion to get you stuck between fight/flight - wrtite down what you are intending to do and be realisitic
• Browse the internet becoming lost in rabbit holes - get off the internet now!

The internet and information bombardment often sends us back down into a state of overwhelm and we find ourselves immobile, frozen and numb again. I often have to jump up, put music on and shake it off before settling again. 

So we can be ready for this by developing our neuroception and building healthy habits into our lives. These are what I recommend:

1. Daily connection practice: meditation, yoga, and recalibration - I do about 20 minutes every morning 
2. Walking outside - get sunshine and fresh air daily, even if its just 10 minutes
3. Cold water exposure - choose a discomfort that works your vascular system
4. Exercise daily - even if it's only 20 minutes. Get your heartrate up and move the body! 
5. Sleep well - try and get a minimum of 7 hrs.
6. Eat real food, not too much - I try and eat less processed food and finish when I'm 80% full
7. Practice regular standing up from desk - I use Pomodoro technique to help me 

If you'd like help with this come on a group course in Emotional Resilience or work with me 1:1. ​

Since lockdown in 2021 I notice a gradual ebbing away of my confidence in myself. Self doubt has been nipping at my heels. I've been doing all sorts to try and get rid of it. I recognise it as my old friend 'IMPOSTER SYNDROME'. This part of me tries to protect me from failure and humiliation by forming the believe that I'm not good enough. 

Do you have a part of you that does this too? 

I trust I am not alone. It's part of the human condition and it's exacerbated by the modern culture. I've been re=reading Mark Manson's masterpiece 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F***'  to try and remind me of some things. I'm only up to page 70 and already I'm reminded of a basic thing that culture does: 

Mark reminds me that in this odd culture of bombardment 'exceptional' is considered normal and to be average is to fail. He reminds me that in our desire and need to be special and exceptional we will try and be at one end of the bell curve - to be exceptionally successful or believe we are exceptionally bad. This polarising ignores the need for balance, across multiple disciplines, and the acceptance of being ordinary,.

A few other choice reminders from the book:

• The mind automatically finds ways to invent problems if it has a lack - this reminds me to practice gratitude and recognition of the privilege and ease of my life
• Finding something important and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive use of your time and energy - this remind me to refresh my purpose and manifesto and look at what training I would like to do next. 
• The backwards law reminds me that the desire for more positive experiences is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experiences is itself a positive experience. 
• As my friend Cedar says - nothing is wrong - nothing is wrong with me, or with you, even though the mind constantly tries to use comparison, control and craving to convince you there is something wrong. Of course the caveat to that is that you can still make mistakes - but don't condemn them as wrong. 
• The capitalist society wants us to give a f*** about everything that is unimportant, including other people's opinions of us. This worry makes them money! So F*** this. The subtle art of not giving a f*** is about caring less about trivia and focusing ones attention on what truly matters.
• F*** our feelings. We cannot let them 'drive the bus'.  love the phrase ''I feel like shit today, but who gives a f***?" and then I can magically stop hating myself for feeling bad and just crack on. 

​

This is just one of the ways that helps me to overcome the imposter syndrome. What about you? What helps you remember what is important, what is real and what to give less f***s about?

If you'd like help figuring that out hire me to coach you. First session is free!