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Blog! Seize the day, then let it go 

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Useful language and tools for creating healthy discussion.

12/12/2015

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I’ve got a meeting coming up, with friends, trying to shape the community we live in. I want this meeting to go well, to have everyone feel valued and to create something together that everyone feels a part of. To me the process is as important as the end result. I wrote this blog whilst thinking about that process. 

First of all what is healthy discussion? I think this is:
“A discussion which results in connection - where all parties feel heard and respected and which is limited to a specific topic. Where it feels natural and enjoyable to give and receive, rather than playing the game ‘who’s right and who’s wrong?”

So how can I, as an individual, or we, as a group, engage healthy discussion?

Think about your intentions

“You can either practice being right or practice being kind.” (Anne Lamott)
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Your intention will affect the outcome. So firstly it is important that you understand what you really want and why.

Why do we bother to talk at all?
Whenever we take time and energy to open our mouths and talk we are expressing ourselves for a reason. That could be:
For the love it - expressing what is in our heart at that moment, with no other motive. This is a way of saying ‘thank you’ through celebrating. (This includes saying YES as much as saying NO)
We want or need something. We have an ‘unmet need’ and we seek to request, ask or demand. (This includes asking for forgiveness, feedback, love, learning, attention, space… not just material ‘things’.) Hint: Demanding doesn’t work so well, in the long run. When you force someone to do something you both pay. 

So it helps to, individually, set and intention, before you do into debate. Investigate why you are having this discussion. Is there something you want to request - what is is specifically and why. This helps determine your own motives, which we often ‘think’ we know, but when we take a moment and investigate them we realise some ‘fears’ behind them. So coming into a debate and expressing your fears can lead to better cooperation too. Finally - what could be the best outcome- positive focus!  - what can you seek to celebrate (appreciate) and learn from the discussion?  So in summary:
  • Determine your first intention (priority)
  • Determine your requests, needs and desires
  • Determine your fears
  • Think about what could be the best outcome and what you could learn

I think most of us want: to make life more wonderful, for ourselves and for each other, including wider society and future generations. However, we must also recognise that we are in a  particular stage of our life and both fear and ego are always present, even in small amounts. 

You are a complex individual with many facets. Where are those various facets within this developmental path? We all move through these phases at our own pace and we may experience different parts of our life moving at different paces, for example perhaps our professional life has reached a maturity of serving others whereas their sexual expression is still in the exploring stage. One cannot force someone who is focused on ego to start becoming more focused on serving. They require the time they need to explore and express themselves before they understand that serving others is important. 

My belief is that in a healthy society change cannot be forced, but only inspired. A peaceful world takes patience, listening, awareness, accepting and allowing. 
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Create a good listening and thinking environment (10 components) ​

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” ~ Albert Einstein ​​
I’ve been reading a great book by Nancy Klein, entitled ‘Time to Think’. The basic premisis is that the quality of life is determined by the quality of our thinking and the quality of our and others thinking is determined by the quality of our listening!  This is borrowed from http://www.timetothink.com/ - So imagine if we took that on board in our communication:

“The quality of one’s attention determines the quality of the other’s thinking”

1. ATTENTION - Attention is an act of creation.
Attention, driven by deep respect and genuine interest, and without interruption, is the key to a Thinking Environment. Attention is that powerful. It generates thinking. It is an act of creation.
The main tool I use here is FULL BODY LISTENING - without reaction, and giving lotsof time and space, even sometimes in silence, until someone is truly finished speaking. This often requires structuring ahead of discussion, and could even involve a ‘talking stick’ to ensure one person speaks at a time...so that we get...


2. EQUALITY - Even in a hierarchy people can be equal as thinkers
Imagine a place where everyone is valued. Everyone gets a turn to think out loud and a turn to give attention. To know you will get your turn to speak makes your attention more genuine and relaxed. It also makes your speaking more succinct.
Equality keeps the talkative people from silencing the quiet ones. But it also requires the quiet ones to contribute their own thinking. The result is high quality ideas and decisions.


3. EASE - Ease creates; urgency destroys. 
Ease is an internal state free from rush or urgency, creates the best conditions for thinking. But Ease, particularly in organisations and through the 'push' aspect of social networking, is being systematically bred out of our lives. We need to face the fact that if we want people to think well under impossible deadlines and inside the injunctions of ‘faster, better, cheaper, more,' we must cultivate internal ease. This takes the particular discipline of a Thinking Environment, and it takes a preference for quality over the rush of adrenaline.


4. APPRECIATION - The human mind works best in the presence of appreciation. 
Society teaches us that to be appreciative is to be naïve, whereas to be critical is to be astute. And so, in discussions we are asked to focus first, and sometimes only, on the things that are not working. The consequence is that our thinking is often specious.Thinking Environment expertise generates a balanced ratio of appreciation to challenge so that individuals and groups can think at their best.


5. ENCOURAGEMENT - To be 'better than' is not necessarily to be 'good'
Competition between people ensures only one thing: if you win, you will have done a better job than the other person did. That does not mean, however, that you will have done anything good. To compete does not ensure certain excellence. It merely ensures comparative success.
Competition between thinkers is especially dangerous. It keeps their attention on each other as rivals, not on the huge potential for each to think courageously for themselves.
A Thinking Environment prevents internal competition among colleagues, replacing it with a wholehearted, unthreatened search for good ideas.


6. FEELINGS and NEEDS - Repressed or unexpressed feelings can inhibit good thinking
Thinking stops when we are upset. But if we express feelings just enough, thinking re-starts. Unfortunately, we have this backwards in our society. We think that when feelings start, thinking stops. When we assume this, we interfere with exactly the process that helps a person to think clearly again. If instead, when people show signs of feelings, we relax and welcome them, good thinking will resume.


7. INFORMATION - Withholding or denying information results in intellectual vandalism. Facing what you have been denying leads to better thinking. 
We base our decisions on information, accurate or not, all of the time. When the information is incorrect, the quality of our decisions suffers. Starting with accurate information is essential, therefore, if good independent thinking is our aim.
The importance of information also pertains to the pernicious phenomenon of denial, the assumption that what is happening is not happening. Learning how to formulate questions that dismantle denial is a powerful feature of Thinking Environment expertise.


8. DIVERSITY - The greater the diversity of the group, and the greater the welcoming of diverse points of view, the greater the chance of accurate, cutting-edge thinking.
Reality is diverse. Therefore, to think well we need to be in as real, as diverse, a setting as possible. We need to be surrounded by people from many identity groups, and we need to know that there will be no reprisal for thinking differently from the rest of the group.
The ‘Diversity Session’, a series of questions that best reveals and strengthens the diversity of a group, is the basis of another important programme producing Thinking Environment expertise.


9. INCISIVE QUESTIONING - A wellspring of good ideas lies just beneath an untrue limiting assumption An Incisive Question will remove it, freeing the mind to think afresh.
Everything human beings do is driven by assumptions. We need to become aware of them, and by asking Incisive Questions, replace the untrue limiting ones with true, liberating ones. The building of Incisive Questions is at the very heart of generating fine independent thinking. These questions have been described as ‘a tool of unbelievable precision and power’.

10. PLACE - When the physical environment affirms our importance, we think more clearly and boldly. When our bodies are cared for and respected, our thinking improves.
We have found consistently that Thinking Environments are places that say back to people, ‘You matter.’ People think better when they can arrive and notice that the place reflects their value - to the people there and to the event. A good sense of place is a silent form of appreciation.
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Use skilful language and thoughts

What language can we use to instead connect with them on a human level and try not to judge, but instead to listen, understand and work together to get our individual and collective needs met?

DISCONNECTION - WHY IT HAPPENS (Four D's of Disconnection)

1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison)
Blame, insults, put-downs (critical remark), labels, criticism, comparisons, and diagnoses are all forms of judgment.When we judge, as a result, we increase defensiveness and resistance from others. If they do agree to act in harmony with our values because they concur with our analysis of their wrongness, they will likely do so out of fear, guilt, or shame. eg:
“The problem with you is that you’re too selfish.”
“It is wrong / It's not okay”
“If you don’t help me I won’t lend it to you.” (demand with punishment)
“If you don’t help it will reflect badly on you.” (demand with blame)
“Why can’t you be like your brother?” (comparison)
“You are so stupid.” (labeling and insult)
“You are so intelligent.” (positive labeling)
2. Denial of Responsibility
We are each responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. The phrase “You make me feel guilty” is an example of how language facilitates the denial of personal responsibility for our own feelings and thoughts. Eg:

“I cleaned my room because I had to / was told to.” – impersonal forces/ authority.
“I drink because I am alcoholic. So was my dad” – diagnosis or psychological history.
“I hit my child because he ran into the street.” – action of others.
"I have to because I'm a father and that's what father's do" - cultural rules and regulations
3. Demand
A demand explicitly or implicitly threatens listeners with blame or punishment if they fail to comply. It is a common form of communication in our culture, especially among those who hold position of authority. Eg.

“You have to do that”
4. ‘Deserve' oriented language
Life-alienating communication is also associated with the concept that certain actions merit reward while others merit punishment. eg:
“He deserves to be punished.”

Most of this blog is interpreted from the teachings of Marshall Rosenberg and his model of compassionate (or nonviolent) communication (NVC), for which there is a simple and accessible book and youtube explanation, which should be observed in full to understand the background. I have simply created these tools to provide an accessible means into the work:

But here are my 10 things I try to do, which help me:

1. Remember that a decent conversation requires a bit more time
If we want to have a quality of connection that goes beyond simply venting our demands and problems onto someone else we need time and space to listen, think about what was said and try to understand each other. The aim of conversation isn’t always to find a quick solution, or a solution at all, but be heard and to see and hear what is going on for someone else - with an end result of feeling connected.

2. Ask before giving feedback
People don’t usually like unsolicited feedback. It can seem patronizing, arrogant or condescending. It will probably be unwelcome and may result in the opposite of the change we wanted to request. Asking could look like:
  • “Are you open to some feedback about that?”
  • “Would you mind I share how I feel about that?”
  • “Is it okay if I give my perspective on this?”
  • “Can we talk about this?”

3. Own choices
Our language is our choice and we often use a language of ‘no choice’ or ‘duty’ eg:
  • I have to do this,
  • We need to
  • I should / shouldn’t / ought to
  • You can’t
So here is a hint to try and recognise choices when using subtle language: Replace
  • “I have to” with “I choose to”,
  • “We need” with “We could” or “It’s important we do… because…”
  • “I should” with “I could” or ‘I may’ or ‘I will’ or ‘I can’
  • “You can’t” with “You could” or “I’d like it if” or “It’s Important to me that you…”

4. Use ‘I’ statements
or ‘My experience is…’ without judgements, evaluations, diagnosis or blame.  Own the experience and choice. In doing this we must be careful to separate our experience and the situation, otherwise we assume the cause and effect:
  • “I don’t like...”
  • “I’m uncomfortable when I see...”
  • “In my opinion…”
  • “In my experience…”

5. Start a conversation with your explicit intention.
Eg. “I would like to talk to you in a healthy way, without blame or criticism so that we can both feel heard and respected. I want to know what is alive in you” or
  • “I really want to hear your side” or
  • “I really want to connect with you, as a person, without prejudice” or
  • “I really want us to both feel good about this conversation, even if we don’t reach a definite conclusion”

6. It’s okay to express how you feel and what you want to request. You can also start a conversation with an  'emotional caveat', if needed. 
An emotional caveat is simply to add how your feeling. This prepares the other person so that they can respond sensitively to that. For example:
  • "... and I'm really feeling anxious about this."
  • ".... and I'm finding it really difficult to say this, so I appreciate you hearing me out".
  • "... I'm feeling anger so I may not be 100% clear, but I'm trying to be."
We can be careful to not impress expectation or  ‘emotional blackmail’ but to hold the intention of being truthful, vulnerable/open and helpful in our communication. Sometimes begining in this way creates a softer, more open conversation:
  • “I feel a bit worried telling you this, but I think it’s important for honest communication’” or
  • “I want to hear you, but my anger is getting in the way - can I request a bit of time?” or
  • “I’m finding it hard to listen because I’m feeling attacked, could we de-escalate it somehow” or
  • “in the spirit of sharing I want to say that I’m feeling hurt, but I don’t need you to fix that, just to hear it” or
  • “I am sad when I hear that - but I can own my emotional responses”

The NVC school of thought is that we create a semi-scripted response which includes a feeling (I feel annoyed when I hear...) an underlying need (I need respect) and a request to try and meet that need (could you please give me time to…). But in my experience this is slow and difficult - but it is very useful to be able to express a feeling as a first step to self-empathy and then to let the rest take care of itself.

The essence here is to be willing to feel and see others sharing feelings, without taking it personally.

7. Use a criticism sandwich as a default.
If there is even a glimmer of something you liked or agreed with start with that because it will help ‘open’ the ears and heart of the other person and of yourself. Ending with a like is less important, but a small appreciation here will go a long way, especially if you can connect and express a resulting positive feeling.  Eg:
“I like the way you said XXX and  (insert body of discussion)... Thank you for taking the time to investigate and express your concern - I feel protected and happier.

8. Use reflective listening and Embrace silence
Before you retort try repeating back what you ‘heard’. Often this is different than what the speaker meant you to hear and there is an opportunity for misunderstandings to be ironed out before going forward. Start this with “What I heard you say is…”
Awkward moments are useful - they are often times when we are ‘thinking’. So let these moments last a bit longer. Ask the speaker if they have nothing more they have to say and wait until they have definitely finished.  

9. When triggered take a moment
It can be helpful to investigate, internally, what you are afraid of, angry at or sad about. Try and find the corresponding need and then express those two things, with a reflection of what you heard.
If this isn’t being heard and emotions are being inflamed take a moment to accept your own feeling and see if you can find space to listen fully, in silence. Reflect what you hear, without judgement when you feel able.

10. Be aware of derailed discussion
At any point reiterate your intention and steer the conversation back on course. The best way to do this is with a decisive question, eg.
Is this what we came here to speak about?
Is this relevant and can we discuss this another time?
Is there time to talk about this now?

That's it! I know there is a lot, but you know what, we are complex, and the relationships we have are complex, so it is worth spending some time working them out. We need connection  - clear connection, rather than crossed wires and misunderstanding, which is where most suffering emerges from. So this is your chance to influence that. 
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crossed wires? Sort them out!
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Craving the crux: 10 lessons learned from my rock climbing addiction

9/12/2015

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ROCK CLIMBING IS MORE THAN ONE THING
Rock climbing is incredibly stupid, incredibly challenging, dangerous, fun and uncertain. It is not one thing, it is all of these things, simultaneously. How can that be? We live in a world of definition - things are labelled as useful or useless, good or bad, positive or negative.
When we really get involved in our passions things become a lot more fuzzy and sometimes we see that things are not one or the other, they are one and the other. All we have to do is choose which one dominates our focus. This is the essence of positive thinking and it is the essence of what makes climbing fun instead of terrifying. So when I think about the positive lessons that I took from climbing and applied to life here is what I came up with: 
  1. PLAN & BUILD RESOURCES FROM A PLACE OF RELATIVE SAFETY
    Even before you leave home it's useful to have a general plan, even if that plan is 'follow my nose'. But let's imagine we just arrived at the base of the cliff - you feel the nervousness and excitement start! So you observe the big, intimidating rock wall - see what stands out and what is appealing - and you a makes a plan. While I’m in a relatively safe space I can feel into how hard I’m prepared to push myself today, which route I’m going to do and how.  This includes making sure I have the right tools or ‘gear’ and knowing how to use them. It helps to have another person to reflect your thoughts and feelings to. I prepare for the worst and expect the best.

  2. TAKE ALL ADVICE WITH A PINCH OF SALT
    Advice from friends or from guidebooks effects the experience, based on how much you trust the advice more than your own intuition. It’s interesting to learn this lesson when you find yourself in difficulty on a climb you thought was going to be a walk in the park and also when you manage a climb far beyond your objective ability. I climbed by first E5 when I was only confident on E2, because I had mis-read the guidebook. I thought the route was going to be hard, but achievable and this turns out to be the best mindset for being in flow.

  3. BEFORE COMMITTING CHECK IN WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR ‘WHY’
    When I was a teenager I’d find that If a girl was watching me or if I was competing with a friend, who was more experienced I would often take on more than I could handle - I’d go for the biggest, scariest route in an effort to ‘prove myself’ to others. I would choose the challenges because of my ego - because I was afraid of looking weak!
    This often got me into a lot of trouble! So from about the age of 25 I started to pick climbs despite of peer pressure - but because I relished the challenge for the love of it, and that usually turn out to be a beautiful experience. So I always check with my ‘why’ and with my body  before I commit to climbs and to other things in life; that I’m choosing for the passion, not for the ‘should’

  4. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN, WITH AWARENESS OF WHAT MIGHT
    OK, so it’s time to climb. I oxygenate my blood and pump myself up with a few breaths. Harder breaths tend to energize me. It’s really useful to know how to use the breath to alter the state of mind and body. I’ll come back to this.

    Climbing up I start to perceive I’m a fair distance off the ground. Time to place my first bit of protection - already I’m evaluating risk and balancing uncertainty - if i place too much protection I waste energy and too little I increase my risk of hitting the deck. It becomes quickly apparent that rock climbing is a mental game of balancing focus: I must be aware of the risks, but focused on what I am doing, with one eye on where I'm going. The moment I start to dwell on either the risk or the goal I lose my presence and become over-excited or terrified, both of which are deadly here. So this is a perfect training ground for balance of attention. As Matthew Child’s says in his own lessons from rock climbing: "Fear Sucks. Fear means you're focusing on the consequences of failing what you are doing."

  5. TRUST YOURSELF TO PLAY
    However, when I’m having fun climbing I’m PLAYING in the  present moment - I’m not consciously mindful. I’m trying to figure it out, moving in weird ways and making mistakes. Sometimes I succeed, in flow, and other times I get near danger and  I’m snapped back to reality by the language of my body - emotion - or in this case FEAR - which shouts “WOAH! WAKE UP AND QUIT PLAYING!” I trust my body’s alarm system to help me here, and therein lies the key. I can play - I abandon mindfulness in a controlled manner, because I trust that my intuition will override my stupidity, IF I’m present with what I’m doing. This is the essence of play - trusting oneself.  

  6. CONSCIOUS BREATHING AND VOCALISING CAN ALTER YOUR STATE OF MIND
    Sometimes when I start to panic I begin to talk to myself, and breath shallow and fast...but which is more useful when you are in a tricky spot:  “It’s okay, I’m okay”. Or “I’m in trouble - oh no!” I have a choice. Consciously combining breath with the power of expressing gives me control of my state of mind. I can energise myself or calm myself, regardless of the situation.

  7. LEARN HOW TO REST AND WHEN TO PUSH ON AND WHEN TO BACK OFF
    On steep ground you’re going to get  tired. We learn from experience when to push on, but what we don’t learn so much is when and how to rest or retreat.  There is no shame in retreating to play another day and this is a critical lesson in humility that rock climbing encouraged me to learn.  I learned that it also helps to plan rests, but not to hesitate too long because hesitation breaks the flow, muscles get cold and the mind dulls - it starts to come out of the moment and into the imagination or the worrying. Conscious breathing again helps - calming or energising my state of mind.

  8. IN THE LONG GAME, PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS
    My strongest connection the rock and in life should be through my strongest attributes if I want to play for the long game. My legs are much stronger than my arms and fingers. So practicing using the feet and legs to lever you up is essential to climbing, with grace. This requires courage and experience to  trust your feet, especially on friction slab climbs. My connection with the rock is a critical point and the less I trust it, the more I seize up and fall. The more I trust the more skill I develop and the less I fall.

  9. COURAGE, DESPITE FEAR, ALWAYS HELPS ME, IN SOME WAY
    Leaving rest spots is sometimes hard, but I know that when I leave my comfort zone life is enriched. I get taken to remote and beautiful places. I could have got to some of these places an easier way, but I climb for the enriching quality of the challenge - to take the road less traveled. In this way the places we get to seem even more beautiful and that makes me realise that beauty is informed by meaning and depth and there is no depth without risk. And there is no risk without gain. All courage bears some fruit.

  10. FIND YOUR OWN WAY TO APPRECIATE LIFE, FROM WHAT MOVES YOU
    So I get to the top, sit and make myself safe and comfortable and then take a big sigh and take in the context of my achievement. I feel relief. I appreciate being alive. The stress of facing my mortality helped me do just that. When I risk I feel alive. When I overindulging in my comfort zone I use  the memory of the climb in my mind and the thought of: I’m alive, and that’s the greatest adventure I could have.” This helps me to appreciate the comfort and the risks - the uncertainty as well as the achievements of my life. 

AND ONE MORE… PAIN IS HELPFUL (IN MODERATION)
It’s Monday morning now. When I sit in the office chair, body aching and spirit soaring. The lesson here? Pain helps me - it helps me to appreciate comfort - even the simple comfort of sitting in an office. Contrast is necessary for enjoyment. I can’t be joyful or comfortable all of the time or it would lose it’s meaning.  So as I train my body throughout the winter I pay attention to what hurts. When I judge my pain as weaknesses I feel angry at myself and at life.  I realised during the winter that the positive labels - seeing pain as a useful signal - helps me to choose, rather than ‘be forced’ to work on myself. The gradual mastery of rock climbing must come from the love of it, to continue to enjoy where you are in your skill level. This is always easy in the beginning, when we have no attachment to our progress, but this changes, over time.


SUMMARY: COMFORT VS ADVENTURE
Unfortunately so many of us have lost touch with that, our sense of wonder and adventure and become stuck in a world of comfort, fear of missing out, obligation, peer pressure or guilt. Or maybe its patterns of behaviour that fuel laziness, hopelessness…  It can happen at any time - Comfort is an enticing and soft beast, a slow killer but passion is also a killer. Remember that although it’s nice to be comfy, it is easy, and when we are only prepared to do what is easy, to feel what's easy,life becomes very hard. So choose life!

My addiction to adrenaline has taught me is that life is a dangerous adventure and I can choose to focus on the danger or to focus on the adventure, with awareness of the danger. There are tools I can use to help this process:
​

  1. PLAN & BUILD RESOURCES FROM A PLACE OF RELATIVE SAFETY
  2. TAKE ALL ADVICE WITH A PINCH OF SALT
  3. BEFORE COMMITTING CHECK IN WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR ‘WHY’
  4. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN, WITH AWARENESS OF WHAT MIGHT
  5. TRUST YOURSELF TO PLAY
  6. CONSCIOUS BREATHING AND VOCALISING CAN ALTER YOUR STATE OF MIND
  7. LEARN HOW TO REST AND WHEN TO PUSH ON AND WHEN TO BACK OFF
  8. IN THE LONG GAME, PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS
  9. COURAGE, DESPITE FEAR, ALWAYS HELPS ME, IN SOME WAY
  10. FIND YOUR OWN WAY TO APPRECIATE LIFE, FROM WHAT MOVES YOU 

    + PAIN IS HELPFUL



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    Authors

    Neil Morbey is a meditation teacher, group facilitator and inspiration guide for Positively-Mindful.com

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    52. Mindfulness at work: more ways to create balance, focus and clarity. 25/1/2019
    53. Everything you need to know about meditation posture and structure. 19/12/2018
    54. Mindfulness Coaching - is it for you? 23/10/2018
    55. Happiness: How Do We Find The Balance? 19/9/2018
    56. The Work of Ghostbusting: Meet the mind with kind inquiry 25/1/2018
    57. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    58. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    59. Removing Drama Is As Easy As A-B-C! (Part 2 - Spot the signals, name the role.)  24/10/2017
    60. Using Mindfulness to Sleep Better 7/9/2017
    61. 3 Ways you can help your workplace become more mindful. 16/8/2017
    62. How to overcome psychological abuse, mindfully 21/7/2017
    63. Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish 23/6/2017
    64. 3 Steps to returning to your nature 10/6/2017
    65. The words you speak become the house you live in 29/5/2017
    66. Low Energy? Listen to your needs. 12/5/2017
    67. How to stay inspired (not impotent by importance). 29/4/2017
    68. What is Spirituality? (And how does it relate to thinking?) 14/4/2017
    69. Breath Works: practices to program BOLD focus. 23/3/2017
    70. Procrastination part 3: TURNING THE SHIP AROUND 10/2/2017
    71. Loosen your TIES to suffering 20/1/2017
    72. Understanding Procrastination Part 2: Just do it now. 15/12/2016
    73. What happens in a 1 hour mindfulness class? 23/11/2016
    74. Transforming Hatred with Kindness - Storytime! 1/11/2016
    75. When Feedback hurts - Own your Shit - Take a SEAT 4/10/2016
    76. No pain, no gain? 22/7/2016
    77. Life is like an echo... echooo... echooooo.... 8/6/2016
    78. Etymology and Mindfulness of Language 13/5/2016
    79. An Awesome or Choresome Life? 24/4/2016
    80. Mindfulness for Young People? 8/4/2016
    81. Explore the depths of your ocean. 29/3/2016
    82. Let Go and Be - escape the Drama triangle! 22/3/2016
    83. THE IMPORTANCE OF FEEDBACK 2/3/2016
    84. Don't Mindfill 22/2/2016
    85. Love is messy, scary, risky... Love and need? 9/2/2016
    86. Awareness of the road! 30/1/2016
    87. Dealing with the emotional drop 12/1/2016
    88. Tools for patience in meditation and in life. 6/1/2016
    89. Useful language and tools for creating healthy discussion 12/12/2015
    90. Craving the crux: 10 lessons learned from my rock climbing addiction 9/12/2015
    91. PLAYFULNESS AND PRESENCE: TEDX BELFAST 2015  30/11/2015
    92. Orestes, The Furies and The Eumenides (Kindly ones). A story of vengeance, guilt and forgiveness 5/11/2015
    93. Learning barefoot: feeling more 26/10/2015
    94. Musings on Choice and Obligation 20/10/2015
    95. What is enlightenment and what's the process of getting there? 10/9/2015
    96. What is Mindfulness and Why Practice? 3/9/2015
    97. ​​My Vipassana Retreat Experience 9/7/2015

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