Positively Mindful
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Groups
    • Individuals
    • Relationships
    • Organisations
  • Blog
  • CONTACT
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Groups
    • Individuals
    • Relationships
    • Organisations
  • Blog
  • CONTACT

Blog! Seize the day, then let it go 

BLOG INDEX

Re-Schooling Ourselves: Refreshing Our Narratives

25/8/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
As I worked with an anxious client I realised something: Most of my inner work and my work with clients is about unschooling us from the inaccurate and unhelpful narratives they have been indoctrinated into. We have all been brainwashed by well meaning adults before us. They were brainwashed too, it’s not their fault. It isn’t anyone's fault, but it is our responsibility. 

IT'S NO ONES FAULT - IT'S OUR RESPONSIBILITY
It’s my responsibility to notice when a thought is negative, that is to say, it depletes energy by arguing with reality. A negative thought is always inaccurate, wrong and untrue. It argues with facts because a part of me is too afraid to slow down and look at the truth of the situation, and because I have been schooled this way by so many people in my childhood and in my adulthood. Our culture is rife with poor quality education. An example from my life is that I was told I was lazy, so many times, and by so many people, especially key people (like Dad) that I started to believe it. In fact the whole concept of laziness is wrong. Laziness is healthy - it is a response to being tired. What most people call laziness is actually fear. We are laden with fearful thoughts and no one taught us how to manage that. In their own mis-education they just called us lazy.

THE TRUTH IS OK
The truth is simple. We are a happening, a process of continual change and sometimes that can be scary, because we are vulnerable organisms. Nothing is wrong with that. It’s all OK. It’s OK to be scared and for things to hurt and for change to be happening. Everything we ‘think’ on top of that is just thoughts, or ‘narrative’. These thoughts are powerful. They shape our experience. Some of them helpfully, others of them cause us to suffer. The key is to notice you are thinking and discern if it’s helpful or not and then to make a choice. 

MAKE A CHOICE
Decide. Do you want to be a slave to an unhelpful narrative? Do you want to be liberated by admitting the truth? This too is a process of gradual re-schooling, re-parenting, both to ourselves and to others. If we decide to follow the path of liberation then we are free to choose how to live. We begin to consider what is helpful and important -  principles to live by. We naturally find our way towards principles like kindness, honesty, trust, wisdom and corresponding behaviour like slowing down, rooting out bad habits and installing healthy habits and welcoming ourselves and others with love in our hearts. 

SUFERING IS ALSO OK
Or we choose to let our fearful thoughts take hold. This is the dark path, which is also part of the process. Stepping back we can see a perspective where this suffering is necessary in the grand scheme of things. As Eckhart Tolle said “We suffer until we realise that we don’t need to suffer any more.”
Picture
0 Comments

    Authors

    Neil Morbey is a meditation teacher, group facilitator and inspiration guide for Positively-Mindful.com

    Newsletter Sign Up
    Blog Index
    1. Why I’m done with the 'cult of self improvement' and Goenka's rigid Vipassana
    2. EMDR and AIP models for trauma therapy
    3. ​Mistakes are opportunities to learn, grow and connect
    4. ​Broken Leg, Broken Bank? Here’s How to Keep Your Finances Healthy When You’re Not
    5. ​It's Time To Stop Being Ashamed Of Our Mental Health
    6. Mind - Body Health Benefits: How mindfulness connects it al
    7. My hypothesis of why I have ADHD and how I am improving it
    8. Practical Steps for Finding Peace After Loss
    9. FOMO to JOMO: The Joy of Now 10/09/2024
    10. Mentoring-teaching-what-to-think-as-well-as-how-to-think 15/8/24
    11. Putting Intersectionality into daily practice  27/05/24
    12. Self-Care is not a job, it's awesome, fun and wonderful!  10/04/202
    13. How Active Rest Refreshes Us 05/04/2024
    14. Voicing Vulnerability awaken-the-adult-state  05/03/2024
    15. How To Do A Daily Check-In And Intention Setting 27/11/23
    16. Fuel inspiration by pondering the beginning of all life 23/7/23
    17. The Gentle Village - A place to talk about relationships ​3/3/23
    18. Imagine if... you loved healthy habits ​24/12/22
    19. Philosophy is BS 7/11/22
    20. 3 Powerful Journalling Tools To Process Troubling Thoughts 27/9/22
    21. SAFER communication to help in emotional conversations 2/9/22
    22. Re-Schooling Ourselves: Refreshing Our Narratives 25/8/22
    23. Grounding: Stabilize your Wobbles 22/7/22
    24. How to appreciate your struggle 10/3/2022
    25. Allowing Ourselves To Rest 2/2/2022
    26. Committing To Your Deep Truth: Your Mission 19/1/2022
    27. The Attention Wars - Know Your Enemies! 24/11/2021
    28. Practices To Improve Polyvagal Tone 12/11/2021
    29. Being good enough - letting go of 'exceptional'. 8/11/2021
    30. Reschooling and Reparenting - Heal and Train Yourself (Like a Kitten) 26/10/2021
    31. Compare and Despair? Remember Now is Wow! 12/10/2021
    32. Using Self Awareness to Overcome Negative Emotions and Heal Your Trauma Patterns 5/10/2021
    33. How to find true love using meditation 28/9/2021
    34. 7 Steps To Establish a New Habit 20/9/2021
    35. Understanding the Main Styles of Counseling 21/5/2021
    36. When to listen to your gut: The power of intuition and instinct 1/3/2021
    37. Breaking the Lockdown Blues 4/2/2021
    38. Trying to Change a Habit? Forget Dopamine Fasting, Take a Holiday! 20/11/2020
    39. How To Liberate Yourself From Wounded Patterns 3/11/2020
    40. Overstimulation - The reason you struggle to focus 16/9/2020
    41. Reminding myself everyday: The MORNING routine 12/9/2020
    42. How to STOP reacting to anxiety 11/5/2020
    43. Creating a Meditation Space for Your Home - Top Ten Tips 5/3/2020
    44. Top 5 things the children loved about Mindfulness classes 9/12/2019
    45. What I learned from my week of being perfectly imperfect, ME 27/11/2019
    46. 5 things I learned from a retreat for fools 5/11/2019
    47. How To Meditate - An Example Practice (Body Scan) 25/9/2019
    48. How mindfulness can help you to enjoy the journey. 31/7/2019
    49. Has Mindfulness sold out and become McMindfulness? 24/6/2019
    50. How Nature Can Enrich Your Mindfulness Practice 19/6/2019
    51. Radical Coaching: Shadowing 25/4/2019
    52. Timed Talk & Listen - a tool to practice in relationship. 22/3/2019
    53. 5 Things SOME People Regret On Their Deathbed 6/3/2019
    54. Mindfulness at work: more ways to create balance, focus and clarity. 25/1/2019
    55. Everything you need to know about meditation posture and structure. 19/12/2018
    56. Mindfulness Coaching - is it for you? 23/10/2018
    57. Happiness: How Do We Find The Balance? 19/9/2018
    58. The Work of Ghostbusting: Meet the mind with kind inquiry 25/1/2018
    59. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    60. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    61. Removing Drama Is As Easy As A-B-C! (Part 2 - Spot the signals, name the role.)  24/10/2017
    62. Using Mindfulness to Sleep Better 7/9/2017
    63. 3 Ways you can help your workplace become more mindful. 16/8/2017
    64. Top 5 things the children loved about Mindfulness classes 9/12/2019
    65. What I learned from my week of being perfectly imperfect, ME 27/11/2019
    66. 5 things I learned from a retreat for fools 5/11/2019
    67. How To Meditate - An Example Practice (Body Scan) 25/9/2019
    68. How mindfulness can help you to enjoy the journey. 31/7/2019
    69. Has Mindfulness sold out and become McMindfulness? 24/6/2019
    70. How Nature Can Enrich Your Mindfulness Practice 19/6/2019
    71. Radical Coaching: Shadowing 25/4/2019
    72. Timed Talk & Listen - a tool to practice in relationship. 22/3/2019
    73. 5 Things SOME People Regret On Their Deathbed 6/3/2019
    74. Mindfulness at work: more ways to create balance, focus and clarity. 25/1/2019
    75. Everything you need to know about meditation posture and structure. 19/12/2018
    76. Mindfulness Coaching - is it for you? 23/10/2018
    77. Happiness: How Do We Find The Balance? 19/9/2018
    78. The Work of Ghostbusting: Meet the mind with kind inquiry 25/1/2018
    79. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    80. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    81. Removing Drama Is As Easy As A-B-C! (Part 2 - Spot the signals, name the role.)  24/10/2017
    82. Using Mindfulness to Sleep Better 7/9/2017
    83. 3 Ways you can help your workplace become more mindful. 16/8/2017
    84. How to overcome psychological abuse, mindfully 21/7/2017
    85. Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish 23/6/2017
    86. 3 Steps to returning to your nature 10/6/2017
    87. The words you speak become the house you live in 29/5/2017
    88. Low Energy? Listen to your needs. 12/5/2017
    89. How to stay inspired (not impotent by importance). 29/4/2017
    90. What is Spirituality? (And how does it relate to thinking?) 14/4/2017
    91. Breath Works: practices to program BOLD focus. 23/3/2017
    92. Procrastination part 3: TURNING THE SHIP AROUND 10/2/2017
    93. Loosen your TIES to suffering 20/1/2017
    94. Understanding Procrastination Part 2: Just do it now. 15/12/2016
    95. What happens in a 1 hour mindfulness class? 23/11/2016
    96. Transforming Hatred with Kindness - Storytime! 1/11/2016
    97. When Feedback hurts - Own your Shit - Take a SEAT 4/10/2016
    98. No pain, no gain? 22/7/2016
    99. Life is like an echo... echooo... echooooo.... 8/6/2016
    100. Etymology and Mindfulness of Language 13/5/2016
    101. An Awesome or Choresome Life? 24/4/2016
    102. Mindfulness for Young People? 8/4/2016
    103. Explore the depths of your ocean. 29/3/2016
    104. Let Go and Be - escape the Drama triangle! 22/3/2016
    105. THE IMPORTANCE OF FEEDBACK 2/3/2016
    106. Don't Mindfill 22/2/2016
    107. Love is messy, scary, risky... Love and need? 9/2/2016
    108. Awareness of the road! 30/1/2016
    109. Dealing with the emotional drop 12/1/2016
    110. Tools for patience in meditation and in life. 6/1/2016
    111. Useful language and tools for creating healthy discussion 12/12/2015
    112. Craving the crux: 10 lessons learned from my rock climbing addiction 9/12/2015
    113. PLAYFULNESS AND PRESENCE: TEDX BELFAST 2015  30/11/2015
    114. Orestes, The Furies and The Eumenides (Kindly ones). A story of vengeance, guilt and forgiveness 5/11/2015
    115. Learning barefoot: feeling more 26/10/2015
    116. Musings on Choice and Obligation 20/10/2015
    117. What is enlightenment and what's the process of getting there? 10/9/2015
    118. What is Mindfulness and Why Practice? 3/9/2015
    119. ​​My Vipassana Retreat Experience 9/7/2015

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    July 2023
    March 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly