Positively Mindful
  • Home
  • About
  • GROUPS
  • 1:1
  • Blog
  • CONTACT
  • Home
  • About
  • GROUPS
  • 1:1
  • Blog
  • CONTACT

Blog! Seize the day, then let it go 

BLOG INDEX

Understanding Procrastination

11/11/2016

1 Comment

 
I have an uncanny ability to put off the ‘important’ things in life. I do this regularly. It can be very  frustrating - seeming to take two steps forward and 1,2 or even 3 steps back. I can spend a lot of time thinking and judge myself for not actually moving taking action. This is Procrastination! This Blog is about understanding it and exploring ways around it. The War of Art is a book that looks at this very subject and I’ve interpolated a lot of this blog from that book. The book begins:
Picture
Overwhelmed?
“Many of us have two lives. The life we present to the world (which looks dandy) and the and lived life within us. Between the two stands ‘resistance’. We have all left something gathering dust in the loft, hobby or sport we were determined to start but never really did. Late at night you have experienced a vision of the person you might become, resistance stops us from embracing that future.”
Picture
Sometimes I think of myself as a big cat - they spend a lot of their time sleeping. They are built to ambush, so this is understandable. Am I like that? Is it okay? Can procrastination be useful, relaxing, even productive? Or am I just avoiding producing a lot of published material?
WHAT DO I WANT?
​This question is always a useful starting point. What I actually want is to live an integrated life - one life - to relax my facade and be real. So I have my own practices, including a morning routine full of meditation, gratitude and journaling my thoughts. I make a list of the things I really want to get done and even priorities them in terms of importance vs urgency. Despite all this, sometimes, when it comes time to work, I sometimes don’t. I do anything except the top three items on my list. This blog explores why and how we can overcome this. It will be split into 2  parts -  understanding the enemy and befriending the enemy.
Picture
LIFE AS AN ARTIST
Personally I lived many years following the advice of others, in the rat race, and I got ‘fed up’. I no longer live my life in survival mode. I’m done with that. In 2012 I decided to live from love and joy, otherwise what is the point? I believe an artist is simply someone who chooses to create from their higher mind - in touch with their highest joy - in service to an inner calling. This can often be an unpopular endeavour, because the world is run on fear. That fear can make it dangerous to be an artist. The War of Art compares the rat race to a bucket of crabs: “The highest treason a crab can commit is to leap for the rim of the bucket. If you see yourself as an awakening artist then you must be present and strong willed.”

​
SHARING AND SELFISHNESS
 

I know that, for myself, only once I have latched onto the rim (analogy for your leading edge of self-actualisation) then I can reach back and help others, if I wish to. And I do - I like to have people join me on my journey of growth. I like helping others. But that cannot be my primary aim, or I will fail - because I’m focused outwardly and not leading from my core. It is generally a good idea to decide what you are for before engaging in things - otherwise you might fall for anything. 

“Self-awareness is not self-centeredness, and spirituality is not narcissism. 'Know thyself' is not a narcissistic pursuit.” (Marianne Williamson)
ARTISTS FACILITATE
Creative work takes time and patience. It is not a selfish act or a bid for attention. It is a gift to the world and every being in it. The book requests: "Don't cheat the world of your contribution. Give us what you've got."  By sharing yourself fully – you are seen fully in your growth, you are daring greatly. This can feel vulnerable. Brene Brown says that "vulnerability is the biggest indicator of courage." For me I choose to practice trust, rather than courage. Artists may conduct themselves flamboyantly in public, but alone they work in humility, by trusting themselves and the process - they know they are not the source, they only facilitate. They are willing and skilled instruments.​​

​RESISTANCE CREATES A FOG IN THE MIND

Resistance feels like a low-grade misery or anxiety pervades everything. We become bored, stressed and restless. Eventually this will lead to craving for relief from the tension - which can lead to addiction of a vice… or to ‘Ad-vice’ . Resistance encourages this tension by focusing on the negative potential consequences of what will happen if you have the gaul to teach, or put your half-baked opinions into the world. The mind says to you: “Don’t be so egotistical - you might hurt people!” There is a fear that you might then add evidence to the beliefs of how crap you judge yourself to be.  This is the FOG of Fear, Obligation and Guilt.
Picture
What looks like 'play' can actually be 'work'.
PictureProfessionals come in all shapes and sizes.
FORGIVE
What will convince you to go ahead, in the end, is knowing that you will be unfulfilled if you do not go for it. If you’ve hit this point you know what you need to do.  We hardly ever regret doing things, but we very often regret not doing things. To overcome this practice forgiveness - to yourself and to others. This will help you relax your hold on mistakes.

RESISTANCE IS FEAR
Because resistance needs forgiveness - like all sensitive parts of you - They need TLC  (including tough love). Resistance is fear, but so cleverly disguised.you won't even know it hit you – resistance counjoured up this ninja in the dark recesses of your mind to protect you. YOU trained it, by indulging your fearful thoughts, to stop you feeling vulnerable - to stop you chasing your dreams. Real resistance is far too cunning to show itself as naked ‘fear’.It shows up as ‘rationalisation’, - the self-deluding spin doctor, presenting us with a series of plausible, rational justifications for why we shouldn't do our work. 


PROCRASTINATION IS THE RATIONAL CHOICE
Rationalisation can breed victim mentality (it can also be very useful in life). The way out of victim mentality is to take personal responsibility for your life and be the change you want to see in the world, despite the odds - because you know the destination is not the point. It is the process and the being seen as inspiringly vulnerable in that process. Over time you will relax into that vulnerability. It will expand your comfort zone.  

Procrastination is easy to rationalise. We don't tell ourselves – I'm never going to write a symphony – instead we say – I'm going to start writing my symphony tomorrow. Procrastination comes from the Latin 'Pro' (forward) 'Crastinate' (belonging to tomorrow). It literally means ‘the repeated forwarding on the belief that this endeavour belongs to tomorrow’. To defeat this we realise that ‘tomorrow never comes’. We remind ourselves - “This moment, right now - this second - we can sit down and do our work – and take the first step in changing your habit.”

PROFESSIONALISM
The opposite of Pro-Crastinate? Pro-fessional. Professional comes from 'profess' (to declare openly) and 'fateri' (past participle fassus "acknowledge, confess,"). Hence it is the going into honest, open declaration of something inner.

Picture
Your creations can keep inspiring you - only if you share them
RUN TOWARDS TROUBLE 
Trouble and strife, stress and cruelty – these could also be resistance shrouded in or as external stimulus. The professional will not tolerate or be distracted by the threat of trouble - professionals prevent these things from interrupting their flow. They learn how to respond to inevitable, uncontrollable stressors and cut out stressful situations and people from their lives, as much as practically possible.  This means when they do procrastinate they rename it as 'creative exploration time.'

YOU ARE NOT ALONE
If you think your alone - don't worry, you're not alone in this concern. As an individual we fear that if we embrace our dreams we must prove worthy of them. That scares the hell out of us – we think we might lose friends and family and wind up even more alone. Even though this is possible (but not likely) you can choose to convince yourself that you are never alone. Each of us is tapped into an unquenchable, inexhaustible source of wisdom, consciousness, and love. Sometimes we lose some friends, but we find different friends, sometimes in places we never thought to look and the best place to look is inside, seek inside long enough and you will find not only a body of trillions of cells each working to help you but also a highly creative imagination - this can become your best friend or your worst enemy in times of trouble. Also, the more we become our true selves and express that, the more we attract the people that really like the true us, instead of the facade, and repel the ones that are not right for us.  Overall I suggest cultivating friendship- both within and without as the start of your process. 

By now we are beginning to understand the enemy within - fear of being alone, fear of not being good enough and of causing trouble - all dressed up as rationalisation, procrastination and inner resistance. The next Blog will reveal some of the specific skilful approaches to befriending the resistance by starting our work skillfully. ​
Picture
Can you decide to be a pro?
1 Comment
Eric
17/11/2016 07:50:02 pm

If you're getting the top three items on your list done, you're doing better than some of us! I enjoyed reading this post.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Authors

    Neil Morbey is a meditation teacher, group facilitator and inspiration guide for Positively-Mindful.com

    Newsletter

    Signup to be notified of new blogs, courses and workshops.

    Thank you!

    You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

    .
    Blog Index
    1. How to appreciate your struggle 10/3/2022
    2. Allowing Ourselves To Rest 2/2/2022
    3. Committing To Your Deep Truth: Your Mission 19/1/2022
    4. The Attention Wars - Know Your Enemies! 24/11/2021
    5. Practices To Improve Polyvagal Tone 12/11/2021
    6. Being good enough - letting go of 'exceptional'. 8/11/2021
    7. Reschooling and Reparenting - Heal and Train Yourself (Like a Kitten) 26/10/2021
    8. Compare and Despair? Remember Now is Wow! 12/10/2021
    9. Using Self Awareness to Overcome Negative Emotions and Heal Your Trauma Patterns 5/10/2021
    10. How to find true love using meditation 28/9/2021
    11. 7 Steps To Establish a New Habit 20/9/2021
    12. Understanding the Main Styles of Counseling 21/5/2021
    13. When to listen to your gut: The power of intuition and instinct 1/3/2021
    14. Breaking the Lockdown Blues 4/2/2021
    15. Trying to Change a Habit? Forget Dopamine Fasting, Take a Holiday! 20/11/2020
    16. How To Liberate Yourself From Wounded Patterns 3/11/2020
    17. Overstimulation - The reason you struggle to focus 16/9/2020
    18. Reminding myself everyday: The MORNING routine 12/9/2020
    19. How to STOP reacting to anxiety 11/5/2020
    20. Creating a Meditation Space for Your Home - Top Ten Tips 5/3/2020
    21. Top 5 things the children loved about Mindfulness classes 9/12/2019
    22. What I learned from my week of being perfectly imperfect, ME 27/11/2019
    23. 5 things I learned from a retreat for fools 5/11/2019
    24. How To Meditate - An Example Practice (Body Scan) 25/9/2019
    25. How mindfulness can help you to enjoy the journey. 31/7/2019
    26. Has Mindfulness sold out and become McMindfulness? 24/6/2019
    27. How Nature Can Enrich Your Mindfulness Practice 19/6/2019
    28. Radical Coaching: Shadowing 25/4/2019
    29. Timed Talk & Listen - a tool to practice in relationship. 22/3/2019
    30. 5 Things SOME People Regret On Their Deathbed 6/3/2019
    31. Mindfulness at work: more ways to create balance, focus and clarity. 25/1/2019
    32. Everything you need to know about meditation posture and structure. 19/12/2018
    33. Mindfulness Coaching - is it for you? 23/10/2018
    34. Happiness: How Do We Find The Balance? 19/9/2018
    35. The Work of Ghostbusting: Meet the mind with kind inquiry 25/1/2018
    36. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    37. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    38. Removing Drama Is As Easy As A-B-C! (Part 2 - Spot the signals, name the role.)  24/10/2017
    39. Using Mindfulness to Sleep Better 7/9/2017
    40. 3 Ways you can help your workplace become more mindful. 16/8/2017
    41. Top 5 things the children loved about Mindfulness classes 9/12/2019
    42. What I learned from my week of being perfectly imperfect, ME 27/11/2019
    43. 5 things I learned from a retreat for fools 5/11/2019
    44. How To Meditate - An Example Practice (Body Scan) 25/9/2019
    45. How mindfulness can help you to enjoy the journey. 31/7/2019
    46. Has Mindfulness sold out and become McMindfulness? 24/6/2019
    47. How Nature Can Enrich Your Mindfulness Practice 19/6/2019
    48. Radical Coaching: Shadowing 25/4/2019
    49. Timed Talk & Listen - a tool to practice in relationship. 22/3/2019
    50. 5 Things SOME People Regret On Their Deathbed 6/3/2019
    51. Mindfulness at work: more ways to create balance, focus and clarity. 25/1/2019
    52. Everything you need to know about meditation posture and structure. 19/12/2018
    53. Mindfulness Coaching - is it for you? 23/10/2018
    54. Happiness: How Do We Find The Balance? 19/9/2018
    55. The Work of Ghostbusting: Meet the mind with kind inquiry 25/1/2018
    56. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    57. Youth Mindfulness: Why is teaching mindfulness in schools so helpful? 12/11/2017
    58. Removing Drama Is As Easy As A-B-C! (Part 2 - Spot the signals, name the role.)  24/10/2017
    59. Using Mindfulness to Sleep Better 7/9/2017
    60. 3 Ways you can help your workplace become more mindful. 16/8/2017
    61. How to overcome psychological abuse, mindfully 21/7/2017
    62. Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish 23/6/2017
    63. 3 Steps to returning to your nature 10/6/2017
    64. The words you speak become the house you live in 29/5/2017
    65. Low Energy? Listen to your needs. 12/5/2017
    66. How to stay inspired (not impotent by importance). 29/4/2017
    67. What is Spirituality? (And how does it relate to thinking?) 14/4/2017
    68. Breath Works: practices to program BOLD focus. 23/3/2017
    69. Procrastination part 3: TURNING THE SHIP AROUND 10/2/2017
    70. Loosen your TIES to suffering 20/1/2017
    71. Understanding Procrastination Part 2: Just do it now. 15/12/2016
    72. What happens in a 1 hour mindfulness class? 23/11/2016
    73. Transforming Hatred with Kindness - Storytime! 1/11/2016
    74. When Feedback hurts - Own your Shit - Take a SEAT 4/10/2016
    75. No pain, no gain? 22/7/2016
    76. Life is like an echo... echooo... echooooo.... 8/6/2016
    77. Etymology and Mindfulness of Language 13/5/2016
    78. An Awesome or Choresome Life? 24/4/2016
    79. Mindfulness for Young People? 8/4/2016
    80. Explore the depths of your ocean. 29/3/2016
    81. Let Go and Be - escape the Drama triangle! 22/3/2016
    82. THE IMPORTANCE OF FEEDBACK 2/3/2016
    83. Don't Mindfill 22/2/2016
    84. Love is messy, scary, risky... Love and need? 9/2/2016
    85. Awareness of the road! 30/1/2016
    86. Dealing with the emotional drop 12/1/2016
    87. Tools for patience in meditation and in life. 6/1/2016
    88. Useful language and tools for creating healthy discussion 12/12/2015
    89. Craving the crux: 10 lessons learned from my rock climbing addiction 9/12/2015
    90. PLAYFULNESS AND PRESENCE: TEDX BELFAST 2015  30/11/2015
    91. Orestes, The Furies and The Eumenides (Kindly ones). A story of vengeance, guilt and forgiveness 5/11/2015
    92. Learning barefoot: feeling more 26/10/2015
    93. Musings on Choice and Obligation 20/10/2015
    94. What is enlightenment and what's the process of getting there? 10/9/2015
    95. What is Mindfulness and Why Practice? 3/9/2015
    96. ​​My Vipassana Retreat Experience 9/7/2015

    Archives

    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly